not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
