We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
