At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
