I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Someone signed my nipple.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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