Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I need a hoe opinion
go on
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
