I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
