yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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