I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize