If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
