I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
