I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She told me I should be a condom model.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
