if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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