mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Sorry about my life...
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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