I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
