I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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