How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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