i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
