these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
