the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
