i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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