she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
