when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
