Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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