sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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