***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
