we're blogging at a bar
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
