I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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