tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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