Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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