I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
