Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
