There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
