grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
