I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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