just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
