everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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