people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
