Whod you bang
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
