watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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