Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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