Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
