no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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