so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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