We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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