I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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