You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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