dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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