If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Did I show you my penis last night?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
