***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize