Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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