i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
