I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
