I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
