i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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