you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
