we're blogging at a bar
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
