i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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