He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
