He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
