Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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