It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Can you bring me the toilet please
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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