Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Green mimosas i think yes
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
my liver is dry heaving
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
