If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
