you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
